The Nice Guy Dilemma

Most people don’t realize there is a huge difference between being “nice” and being “kind.” Being nice is a self-preservation behaviour

It’s an adaptive strategy that has been used since the beginning of time to stay safe within a social environment. Nice people need other people to like them so they can be (and feel) safe. This means, out of necessity, nice people are fake.

Women know when men aren’t genuine and will keep them at arms length. They easily recognizes because they have always done this in social circles themselves.

Kindness however, is different.

It comes from a place of real love that serves in the best interests of others. This happens when you sacrifice, risk, or suffer so that someone else may succeed.

Women see this and are attracted to it like a moth to a flame. When men get rejected, they often switch from being kind to women to being nice to them.

It’s a tactic to prevent future rejections.

They tell themselves “don’t be yourself, she’ll reject you. Be who she wants.” This disingenuous approach works…for a short time.

But she’ll eventually catch on, he’ll be rejected and then he slowly builds up a hate for women. He feels like they’re impossible to please. When the approach is wrong, the results will never be right.

The key is to be genuine:

• Genuine actions

• Genuine kindness

• Genuine conversations

You can still work on becoming better but it needs to come from personal goals not from what others expect of you. If she rejects you, don’t get angry, don’t get sad, rejection is part of life and what helps us have bigger ambitions…move forward.

Chase goals, not women.

Women will come in time when you’re least expecting it. Being the “nice guy” won’t work out for you. Be kind, be genuine while not trying to please expectations of others and the right people will always come.