When Marriage Becomes a Religion

Many women treat marriage like a religion, a sacred line drawn to rewrite their past.

They claim, “I won’t have sex with a man until he marries me.”

It sounds principled, noble even. But when you look closer, a contradiction often emerges:

how can someone hold back sex from one man based on religious or moral grounds, yet have shared intimacy with another before marriage?

This isn’t about true love. it’s about control.

Using marriage as a shield to cover what came before is a form of denial.

It’s an attempt to erase history and create a new, “clean” version of oneself.

But your past doesn’t disappear with a wedding ring or a ceremony. It’s embedded in your story, your choices, your growth.

No religion, no ritual, no promise can magically erase who you were or what you did.

A man marries not just who a woman is today, but also who she was yesterday.

Her history is part of the package.

This is a reality many don’t want to face, yet it’s true, her past shapes her, affects trust, intimacy, and connection.

At the same time, a woman marries not only who a man is today but who he will become. His future holds promise, growth, and potential.

She invests in that, hopes for it, and waits to see it unfold.

Marriage, then, is the union of both past and future of who someone was, who they are, and who they’re becoming.

The real issue is control masked as virtue.

When someone says, “I won’t have sex until marriage,” but selectively applies it, the boundary isn’t about faith or love, it’s about power.

It’s about controlling the narrative, the relationship, and sometimes the person.

True love doesn’t seek control.

It accepts a mate wholly, past and present, without hiding behind rules that only serve to manipulate. Ignoring this truth causes deep disconnects.

It builds walls between the couple, sows mistrust, and fosters resentment.

When one spouse past is “forgiven” but the other’s is scrutinized, imbalance grows.

Instead of trying to erase the past or wield control disguised as morality, the focus should be on acceptance, growth, and honest connection.

Remember, the person you marry isn’t just who they are now but also who they were and who they will be.

Embracing this truth is the foundation for genuine love, not control dressed up as faith.